A confession of a – married woman: Every Day – Marriage Life Story.
”Do you know Anna, the woman that works in McDonald’s , the blond one… I heard she divorced her husband.” – says Sara. – “What are you saying? – replies Mary (but says to herself). Sara also has that look called ”I want to divorce my husband, also”. She and John are not living a fairy tale love, I know, but that is not a reason good enough for a divorce…When I think better, lately, I hear nothing but about people who got divorced.
If I am married, I am not dead, for God’s sake!
Sara’s confession : “Well, to be honest, there are times when I am embarrassed by the fact that I am married. In fact, I have been married for so many years that I feel intimidated to say aloud – and i am only 29! Aha, then the questioning starts: “What? You have been married for so many years? Oh, my God! And, how old were you when you gave labor to your first child? ” Oh, I hate that look of people feeling sorry for me like I was sick from the worst disease in the whole world!
Then follows the next question: ” Have you ever cheated on him..ever? Come on, be honest…” – saying the words with the lowest whispering pitch of the voice. I say: I don’t know, maybe I will one day…Maybe he will be the one to cheat on me in future, but according to the way things have been going on till now – it is not going to be the case. Hello! If I am married, I am not dead!!!”
Mariiage – Gathering – together phobia
Sara continues: ”Mainly, nowadays, marriage is a rather radical decision. In fact, being married is totally “out” . I try to explain to my friend that marriage doesn’t have to fit everybody. Despite the fact that marriage is totally unfashionable, there still may be people who are ”pro” being bound to somebody for life. She looks at me as if she has seen a ghost.
Yes, marriage may be only a piece of paper with the signatures of the two parties, but is this really the case? Have you ever wondered if it is OK not to have the wish to bound yourself to somebody? To be frank, I don’t consider right: a person to be in his thirties and not having a single stable relationship behind herself. In cases like these, something is BADLY not RIGHT! ”
Love – free and marriage – free girls: feeling comfortable?!?
Sara continues her confession: ”Nobody wants to sacrifice himself – my grandmother used to say often. That’s true, no one wants to move even the little finger for somebody else .
Why would I sleep on one side of the bed when I could have the whole bed for myself ? Why in the morning should I make two cups of coffee instead of one? Why should I wash somebody’s underwear and iron his shirts? (I hate ironing, oh my God! No, I am disgusted by the word ”iron” itself- it should be deleted from the English dictionary and vocabulary…yea, that would be fer?) Feeling free and comfortable has become primary target in single people’s life. I admit, I myself have such a desire for luxury of that kind.
You know, you come back from work and everything is on its place – just as you left it; Nobody made the chocolate cake you had made the previous day; Nobody made a mess in the drawers; Nobody left the dirty underwear in the middle of the room; Nobody had forgot to turn off the TV before he left. You can be quiet as much as you wish to be and there is no one to ask you ”why are you so quiet today? “You can dance alone and shout the song that the stupid radio is playing, but there is nobody to tell you ”stop shouting, the neighbors will call the police”.
Also, nobody would notice that you had forgotten your bra on the loo door a week ago… or that you forgot to do the dishes. Finally, you go to the kitchen to make a coffee, and because nobody reminded you, you forgot to buy coffee and now you are running out of it. Nobody.. Mr. Nobody is guilty again! Hum, I will think twice when the word ”divorce” crosses my mind…”
Who believes that monogamy truly exists?
Chill out… relax… Nobody believes in monogamy. I often think, it must be awful to have spent the entire life with ONLY ONE person…It must be boring…Look around! The world is full of tall, smart, handsome, with comfortable background, black, white, hot men…and single (or unhappy in a happy marriage, waiting for some extra love and affection)… How come you should pick only ONE! I am not sure if to pick one, live with only one, choose only one, marry only one, is the right decision…???
But one is for sure: it is not easy at all! At all! You would have to learn so many things, to handle so many difficulties… to keep so many secrets… Life is long… Desperately long, sometimes… If the choice you have made wasn’t the right one; your life choice has turned into your life sentence – but, how could you have known it was the wrong one – and, who knows what is right?
As soon as I think the storm has finished, a bigger one is yet to come. And I start again…again and AGAIN! There are days when I ask myself: Did I do anything wrong? Does it MAKE sense? Does it make SENSE? What is the name of the force that made us be together? I think I’ll go mad if he takes one more sip of that awful soup…
If only he puts one more time his dirty legs on the table I have just cleaned, I…And, if I find the sink full of hairs again, I am not sure what I am capable of…Aha, and if he forgets to pick up Lanny from school one more time…ugh! If he throws another empty beer bottle on the floor, I will… If he invites a bunch of ”friends” this night again, I will kill them all! There are a thousands of ”ifs” you should get over with… But, WHY?
Marriage – it is MY choice!!!
In sunny and in rainy days – forever together!
Think! It is unbearable to live this life alone. Mummy and daddy are growing old and it is a question of time when they will get sick. Have you ever thought what is the feeling like not to have anyone beside you?
There won’t be anyone around to help you move the sofa in order to clean the dust under it; To call the plumber; To call the carpenter; To tell you that everything is going to be right; To pretend to be braver than you; To walk with you in the dark. It is good to have somebody totally inept of doing the domestic activities;
Somebody to share the bills with you; Somebody to gossip your friends together with you; Somebody to be your crying shoulder…A friend…Somebody to be your company both in sunny and rainy days… It is good…the feeling… of belonging…
Divorce – immediately!!!
Is divorce the best solution?!? Maybe the problem is in YOU?!? Let us assume that you divorce your current husband, you marry again and things go wrong again…What is wrong again? Destiny? A bad luck? A black cat crossed the street before me? An ex- boyfriend cursed me??? It looks like a nightmare… No, maybe you are not a marriage – like type at all! Or, the problem may be YOU!
Put on paper the benefits of your marriage on one and the negative sides of your marriage and measure well. Think – THINK if it is better to give your partner another chance or divorce him immediately. Finally, you are giving a chance to yourself to make things right this time and be happy.