Marriage was not ”Invented” for me?!?
I was married only year and a half and only recently, did I conclude that marriage was not ”invented” for me.
(Before you decide to make your own conclusion, please continue reading.)
I met my wife in high school when we both were only fifteen years old. We were friends for ten years when we… we decided to be more than friends. However, this falling- in- love- with my best friend- thing didn’t prevent the fear of getting married. The more we approached the wedding day, the more I was terrified by the thought I was going to be somebody’s husband. ” Am I ready for this? Did I make the right choice? Is Lucy Mrs. Right? Is she the one who can make ME happy? ”
One evening, the crucial in my life, I asked my father for advice. Probably, everyone in his life had a moment that changed the course of the events. This conversation with my father was crucial because he gave me the answer I wanted to hear. He said : John, you are a total egoist. You don’t get married to make yourself happy, but another human being. It’s not about your father, your mother, nor for your future wife’s father nor mother- It’s about YOUR future children.
Finally, you get married for the happiness of the person you marry to. ” . He was right. The selfish man would ask: ” What can I get? ” , whereas, the man in love would ask: ” How much/ What can I give? ” . However, his advice shocked me because it was diametrically different from the Walmart’s philosophy: ” If something doesn’t make you happy, you can give it back to the owner and get a new one for yourself. ” . Lucy was Mrs. Right. I wished to become part of her family and to see her face for the rest of my life. I already imagined her playing with our children… and a dog around…
My wife showed me what is love in the real sense of the word. My heart was full of mixed feelings. I was upset, selfish and unaware of her existence. She, instead of despising me, SHE gave me even more love and affection. She ” killed” my soul with this enormous amount of love, tenderness devotion and affection. At that moment I concluded I had forgotten my fathers advice. While my wife was dedicated to me, I was also dedicated to me in the most selfish way, instead of loving her…You, YOU, everybody that read this, remember one thing- marriage was not made for your happiness, but for the person you marry to. Moreover, if your love had been egocentric, you wouldn’t have had the chance to receive love- not only from the chosen one, but from all his/ her friends that you wouldn’t even meet if it wasn’t for your partner. You were right, marriage was not ” invented” for you…